No; the title of this is not a Star Wars reference. If you thought that, you’re a moint.
This post is to enlighten you about the darker side of the Moint.
Dildo, Ego and Divine Disgorging
Our wonderfully lyrical editor, William Stafford, has sprinkled our cerebral retinas with the images of great moint tales already, and with them brought sniggers of sympathy and giggles of glee. However, allow me to caution you; not all mointish behaviour is ineffectual. Alas, not every moint is harmless and welcoming of urbane ridicule. If only it were so. If only every anecdote was as benign as the scene of my well-respected church minister friend mistakenly referring to Dido as Dildo. Repeatedly. In front of his all-female teenage offspring. Without knowledge or contrition.
Moint.
Or when, as a teenager, I publicly berated my own mother for calling me modest, thinking modest was the antonym of itself. Furthermore, not realising that in the process of my vicious enterprise, I was proving that I was indeed a bit of an arrogant fanny.
Moint.
Or when “someone I know”, who is often erratic with their song lyric citation , instead of singing this particular song’s pivotal line: “God didn’t screw up when he made you” managed, “God didn’t throw up when he made you” conjuring up a delightful image of the divine being so abhorred by the off-day he was having when he made you that he vommed all over the heavens.
Moint!
Fly like a butterfly, sting like a moint
These incidents are all worthy of themointblog column space, and hopefully bring a smirk to your face and a simper to the face of the moint-in-study. Yet, the very nature of the moint leaves ajar the door to oppression and suffering. As it is typical of a moint not only to miss the point, but also to carry on regardless (for a fuller definition, please see here), there are many occasions in life when we get stung by the mointish behaviour of others. Sometimes it is just a little prick, but on occasion it can be more like being run through with a cutlass. By a great big ruddy prick.
The sad truth is that far too often people hasten forward with their destructive actions, completely unaware. Such as when someone fiercely fights an argument they have completely misunderstood. Such behaviour can start wars – all because of a moint. At this point beware; please do not be a moint and confuse this with individuals who are genuinely evil. Someone who is attempting to control or manipulate or gain power by any means necessary is certainly no moint. They are just a cock. This blog is resolutely reserved for tales of moints and I simply wish to assert that these stories are not always fluffy. They do not always involve comedic mishaps of hapless misters. There is a dark side to the moint that jabs us all at some point, and you should have a forum in which to rant about it.
This is your forum. Rant away.
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